Change

Where is God leading? Throughout my short life, that has been by far the hardest question for me to answer. And now again, I feel a discontent, an unsettling, a sense that there is something looming ahead of me. I feel that He is bringing circumstances into my life to keep me "straining toward what is ahead". Job change, change of location, change of focus... all of these are ideas that have been careening around my heart and head for the last few weeks. I don't think that I have "missed the boat" or anything like that, but more that God is preparing me to make sure that I board when the time comes. Often times I feel fear or even dread.. others times, excitement. I don't want to leave Kiowa. I definitely want a new job, but that still holds some anxiety when I think about the change and the unknown of what that would be. And considering the change of focus, I have no idea what that looks like either. There are so many questions and unknowns. Will the trial that I am facing be over soon? Will I be able to coach volleyball next year? Can I even join my group on a mission trip this summer? Trust. Faith. Two words that hold a whole new meaning for me after the last few months. Two simple words that seem to stop me in my tracks, my rantings, and say, "take a deep breath, I am with you. I am the Lord your God; besides me, there is no other. Do you trust me, or not?"

"Lord, I do trust you. Wherever you lead, I'll follow"